April 9th, 2099
We have a date now. It’s April back on Earth and I can almost picture my old apartment with its large windows soaked with spring rains. I hated it. It was so full of Sarah’s memory that waking up there alone was miserable. Still, I stayed, stayed and pretended that every shadow didn’t make me turn around, thinking I’d see her come home. It was a lie I almost let myself believe, just like the lie I told myself when I came aboard the Icarus. I thought I could start over out here. In space, I’d find myself, become stronger, more… in touch. That’s what she’d wanted, for me to be more in touch.
I wanted to be less in touch today. They’re all dead, all twelve of them over in the other ship. Jennie made me go along and I don’t know why I agreed but I did. It was horrible. Something killed them, vented the pressure on some and the others… God, I don’t know what happened. They were clawed, their skin ripped to shreds in places and torn off in others. It was like an animal had gotten loose but we found nothing, just eleven dead Chinese and one poor Russian. He must have been taken hostage, a scientist taken from one of the watch posts.
Kira brought one of the bodies back to study. There’s something wrong with it beyond the flash freezing and shredded flesh. The eyes were all black, the whites and irises gone completely. There are pustules on his flesh too, like golf ball sized tumors. They’re filled with something liquid, like blood or something. Kira and Anne are going to have a look at them in quarantine in case it’s contagious.
As for me I’m staying in my quarters. Jennie wants to write about the procedure but I have no taste for it. I don’t want to see that body again. It was the eyes. Did all the dead men have those eyes? I can’t remember and I’m so tired I could fall asleep at my terminal. This whole place is one nightmare, so maybe the horrors I dream of will be more pleasant than the waking ones.