Icarus – April 15th, 2099

April 15th, 2099

They didn’t die from radiation poisoning, Alex confirmed that. They killed one another. There was foreign blood in the corpse’s teeth and skin and blood beneath his nails. Those rends we saw in their bodies? Those were done with human hands.

He also found something else: a foreign protein in the blood. According to Alex it didn’t match a single known entry in the computer’s database. What’s worse is the body’s immune system was suppressed to a point where it was practically destroyed. He thinks it happened rapidly, maybe over just a few days.

There was something else too. Just above the brain stem, a tumor grew right into the thalamus and hypothalamus. Unlike the other tumors in the body, it wasn’t filled with blood, just this protein and a black, inky fluid.

I watched from beyond the screens of Quarantine, feeling sick to my stomach as apprehension took hold. One of those tumors burst on Kira. This morning she had a fever of 102F. Those corpses killed each other. I couldn’t help but think of Kira doing the same and so I ran, ran back to my quarters and sealed the door.

That was hours ago and Alex must have told the others. Now there are noises in the hallway. People are shouting, voices angry and scared at the same time. I can’t make out their words because I can’t bring myself to approach the door.

Sarah. It’s so stupid but she’s all I think of now. I close my eyes and there she is, walking away and I’m too afraid to reach out and stop her. The shouting is worse and I can’t go out to help. I just can’t.

Especially now that I hear screaming.

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Icarus – April 9th, 2099

April 9th, 2099

We have a date now. It’s April back on Earth and I can almost picture my old apartment with its large windows soaked with spring rains. I hated it. It was so full of Sarah’s memory that waking up there alone was miserable. Still, I stayed, stayed and pretended that every shadow didn’t make me turn around, thinking I’d see her come home. It was a lie I almost let myself believe, just like the lie I told myself when I came aboard the Icarus. I thought I could start over out here. In space, I’d find myself, become stronger, more… in touch. That’s what she’d wanted, for me to be more in touch.

I wanted to be less in touch today. They’re all dead, all twelve of them over in the other ship. Jennie made me go along and I don’t know why I agreed but I did. It was horrible. Something killed them, vented the pressure on some and the others… God, I don’t know what happened. They were clawed, their skin ripped to shreds in places and torn off in others. It was like an animal had gotten loose but we found nothing, just eleven dead Chinese and one poor Russian. He must have been taken hostage, a scientist taken from one of the watch posts.

Kira brought one of the bodies back to study. There’s something wrong with it beyond the flash freezing and shredded flesh. The eyes were all black, the whites and irises gone completely. There are pustules on his flesh too, like golf ball sized tumors. They’re filled with something liquid, like blood or something. Kira and Anne are going to have a look at them in quarantine in case it’s contagious.

As for me I’m staying in my quarters. Jennie wants to write about the procedure but I have no taste for it. I don’t want to see that body again. It was the eyes. Did all the dead men have those eyes? I can’t remember and I’m so tired I could fall asleep at my terminal. This whole place is one nightmare, so maybe the horrors I dream of will be more pleasant than the waking ones.