Icarus – April 23rd (approximate), 2099

April 23rd (approximate), 2099

The scratching is insistent. I hear it all the time for there is no more day and no more night. If I sleep, I sleep in fits and jerks, closing my eyes only to snap them open again. I’m afraid to sleep, afraid that if I let myself go under, they will come. It’s not a fear of dying, not really. It’s a fear of waking up alone on this ship. That is something I can’t take. I’ll go mad.

I may already be mad. I saw her again. Sarah was just walking down the corridor, toward the sealed door. She was waving to me, beckoning me to follow her. I knew it wasn’t real, Sarah doesn’t look like that anymore. She let her hair grow out, changed so much. This Sarah was the old Sarah, her hair short and dark. She was beautiful, just like I remember.

I can’t let go, even now. I won’t let her change, or grow, or be someone other than who I remember. She is nothing but a fantasy. How long has she been that way?

They’re trying to come through again. I can hear them pounding, screeching, clawing. God, make it stop! I want the silence, the awful, unending silence! Not this, not ever this.

They’re coming for us, it won’t be long now.

Icarus – April 20th, 2099

April 20th, 2099

It’s been three days since I’ve slept. It’s so quiet. The ship is so very, very quiet now. Except for the screaming of course. I can still hear it, far away down the pressure tube, back in Recreation. Oh God, Jennie. I’m sorry. You weren’t turned yet but I saw the black marks, the tumors that were growing. I’m sorry. We had to seal it off.

Didn’t we?

I don’t know what we could have done. Anne turned quickly, and then Evan wasn’t long after. The door wasn’t going to hold, we needed to seal off the deck. You were infected by it. You were. Those were tumors, Alex said so. Weren’t the eyes blackening?

Your eyes were always so dark, almost black to begin with. The whites were darkening though, they had to be. You would have been one of them, you would have I know it. It was only right, we had to save the ship, save the rest of us. You were gone, Jennie. Gone. Forgive me okay? I’m sorry.

Engineering is a dark place full of little blinking lights and so very little sound. We should go further back, to the engine rooms just so I can hear them hum. Block out the sound of your screaming.

What are we going to do now? Kate thinks she has a plan but what chance do we have against you, all of you? It’s all wrong, so very wrong. This isn’t what they said it would be. It was supposed to be an adventure. I was supposed to find myself, become something stronger.

Am I going to die out here instead?