Icarus – April 26th (approximate), 2099

April 26th (approximate), 2099

Oh Jesus. Oh my God, what have I done? I let them in while they were asleep and then I… I just left. Went to the engine rooms and sealed myself in. Why am I not dead? Why did the others leave me alone?

I can’t get that song out of my head. It’s louder, pounding inside like a migraine. I hear it in the walls, feel it through the floor and it comes with each beat of my pulse. Is that blood? I’m bleeding from somewhere, my fingernails, my ears… where is it all coming from?

They’re banging on the door, screaming my name. Is that my name? Is that how it sounds? Sarah, you never called me that. You always called me Will, not traitor. Is that what I am? Did I do this? I can’t hear myself think anymore, all I hear is that song. One of the words makes sense to me now.

Brother.

Icarus – April 25th (approximate), 2099

April 25th (approximate), 2099

It’s been fourteen hours since they left. That is a very long time to be gone. The sounds have gotten louder, more insistent. I can’t sleep. How long has it been since I slept? I’m too afraid to close my eyes, too afraid to keep them open too. What is that? No one else seems to hear it? Some kind of… song.

It’s very faint, like a note carried on a breeze. If I turn to hear it better, it’s gone. I hear it clearly when I try not to think and shut the world away. There are no words, just a consistent low melody. Is it an instrument or is someone humming? I can almost make it out. It seems so familiar.

I’ve asked Bree and Rich but they don’t hear it. How can they not hear that? There it is again. The same notes. It’s a song, I know it is. Who’s playing it? Has Kate and Alex gotten cut off? Is this how they’re trying to communicate?

We need to do something. They’ve been gone too long. The others are banging on the walls now, screeching so loud I can hardly hear myself think. There’s something else too, a kind of rattling in the floor. Are they coming through? Oh God, what is that sound?

It’s that song, playing loud and clear.

Icarus – April 23rd (approximate), 2099

April 23rd (approximate), 2099

The scratching is insistent. I hear it all the time for there is no more day and no more night. If I sleep, I sleep in fits and jerks, closing my eyes only to snap them open again. I’m afraid to sleep, afraid that if I let myself go under, they will come. It’s not a fear of dying, not really. It’s a fear of waking up alone on this ship. That is something I can’t take. I’ll go mad.

I may already be mad. I saw her again. Sarah was just walking down the corridor, toward the sealed door. She was waving to me, beckoning me to follow her. I knew it wasn’t real, Sarah doesn’t look like that anymore. She let her hair grow out, changed so much. This Sarah was the old Sarah, her hair short and dark. She was beautiful, just like I remember.

I can’t let go, even now. I won’t let her change, or grow, or be someone other than who I remember. She is nothing but a fantasy. How long has she been that way?

They’re trying to come through again. I can hear them pounding, screeching, clawing. God, make it stop! I want the silence, the awful, unending silence! Not this, not ever this.

They’re coming for us, it won’t be long now.

Icarus – April 20th, 2099

April 20th, 2099

It’s been three days since I’ve slept. It’s so quiet. The ship is so very, very quiet now. Except for the screaming of course. I can still hear it, far away down the pressure tube, back in Recreation. Oh God, Jennie. I’m sorry. You weren’t turned yet but I saw the black marks, the tumors that were growing. I’m sorry. We had to seal it off.

Didn’t we?

I don’t know what we could have done. Anne turned quickly, and then Evan wasn’t long after. The door wasn’t going to hold, we needed to seal off the deck. You were infected by it. You were. Those were tumors, Alex said so. Weren’t the eyes blackening?

Your eyes were always so dark, almost black to begin with. The whites were darkening though, they had to be. You would have been one of them, you would have I know it. It was only right, we had to save the ship, save the rest of us. You were gone, Jennie. Gone. Forgive me okay? I’m sorry.

Engineering is a dark place full of little blinking lights and so very little sound. We should go further back, to the engine rooms just so I can hear them hum. Block out the sound of your screaming.

What are we going to do now? Kate thinks she has a plan but what chance do we have against you, all of you? It’s all wrong, so very wrong. This isn’t what they said it would be. It was supposed to be an adventure. I was supposed to find myself, become something stronger.

Am I going to die out here instead?

Icarus – April 17th, 2099

April 17th, 2099

Anne is dead but we don’t know how long she’ll stay dead. I don’t know what to say, I can’t think straight. Nothing I write will make this whole thing make sense. She just went crazy and attacked her, biting and clawing at her.

After, we watched the whole thing on the cameras. When it happened, Anne was just there with Kira’s body in Medical, talking to her like she was still alive. I felt for her, it was the saddest thing I’ve seen in a while.

When it happened, there was no warning. Kira’s body jerked and suddenly she was up and screaming, biting at Anne’s face and shoulders, her fingers flailing, tearing. The worst of it was the blood, but it wasn’t Anne’s. It came from Kira’s mouth or eyes, we couldn’t tell.

Evan and Jennie both went in when they heard the Anne’s screams. They couldn’t have known what they were walking into. They managed to get Kira away from her but she turned on them too. Jennie has a good gash on her cheek and Evan was bitten so bad we almost lost him right then. Kate shot her, right in the head.

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but she didn’t die. We thought it was over, the damn flechettes took half her face off. They’re wood, made to splinter against the Icarus’s hull rather than punch a whole through, but at that range it should have killed her. It didn’t and Kate just managed to pull Evan and Jennie out before she was up and screaming again. Kate locked and sealed Medical from the outside and we set up the same thing we’d done with Kate’s room. She’s still in there, banging on the door and wailing like a damn banshee. I can’t shut it out.

Jennie and Evan are in Quarantine and Alex is doing what he can for them but Kira and Anne were the medical people. They’re both restrained too, in case what happened to Kira happens to them.

We need to get out of here.